Anticipation and Preparation

With all this excitement about what is to come, there is also a reality of what is to come. I was reading a friend's post today at an adoption forum. She was sharing about her pick up trip. I asked her if I could post part of it here. This is to give you a little window:

Yesterday we were at the pool with T's foster family on Thursday when they came for a "last" visit. (I put "last" in quotes because we love them and want to visit them again in the coming years). We all spent five hours at the pool playing together, talking together, and just hanging out. It was precious time for T, but it was also precious time for all of us--I think that in those hours we really became a big family.

It was awful and sad when they had to leave. It tore my heart out to watch his foster mother and brother and sister say goodbye to T. All the while, he was crying the kind of cry that you only hear from people who have lost someone they love very much. He wailed and yelled “no,” while they tried to tell him that it was okay and that he would have a good life. I’m crying just thinking about it. There was no comforting him, and really, there shouldn’t be—how do you comfort someone who is losing his whole family and watching them walk away from him? They were crying, he was inconsolable, we were crying. Once we got to the hotel room, he calmed down a bit, but was still sad today. Someday he will realize how many people love him so much.

The other touching thing I wanted to share was about his foster mom. Even though she speaks only Spanish, I am able to communicate with her a bit because I speak enough Spanish to get by. On Wednesday night, she called me at the hotel to ask how T is doing. She asked if he has been happy, and I told her the truth: he is generally a happy kid, but he is very sad without them. Then she offered the one thing that shows beyond any doubt that she is truly his “mama.” She asked me if it would be better for T if her family did not visit on Thursday. She told me that she wants him to be happy, and that she wants to let him forget about them if that would make it easier for him. Only because I’m a mother can I imagine how much it hurt her to make that offer—I’m amazed by her heart and her love for our son. I told her that I love her for saying that, but that it is very important to me that he never forgets them. I want to honor their places in his life, and I want to continue to stay in touch with them. In the long run, it will only do him good to remember them, to know them, and to know how very much he is loved by all of us. In my family's mind, they remain his family.

Like so much of life, this process is bittersweet. In our home, much happiness—in their home, an equal amount of sadness. I can’t do justice to his Foster Mom with mere words. But I hope we honor her by sharing her sacrifices. And, if you pray, I ask that you say an extra prayer for her tonight.

I didn't post this to upset anyone, just to help prepare us for what we could be facing. It is truly a joyous occasion to bring our son home. He will need time to heal though. There is no doubt that God has ordained MY family as the place for Joseph to be. Our family is not our family without him in it. This sweet friend who posted her experience, I hope you will remember to say a prayer for them tonight. She posted this while still in Guatemala.